I am NOT a hat person

I am NOT a hat person. I don’t wear hats for fun and I don’t wear them for fashion. Some people look great in hats. I’m not one of them. Hats just look goofy on me.

hatThe only two exceptions I make to the ‘no hats for me’ rule are when I’m working or running for exercise outside in the summertime. I’ll usually don one of my running ‘baseball’ style hats to keep the sun out of my eyes.

In spite of the ‘no hats for me’ rule I have found myself wearing more and more hats over the years, hats of a different kind. When I was still living with my parents I wore the ‘perfect daughter’ hat. Being the only daughter and the youngest child put some serious pressure on me to get good grades in school, play the piano, and learn domestic skills. Not that any of those things have done me any harm – I just didn’t like the feeling that I had to be perfect.

When I got married I chose to wear the ‘wife’ hat. Thirty-seven years with the same fella, with whom I am even more madly and passionately in love than the day we said “I do”, has made this hat more and more comfortable.

As we added children I wore more and more hats. I had no idea when we started out that I’d need several different ‘mom hats’ for each child. Some children needed me to have a custom-made ‘patience’ hat, others needed the ‘professional cuddler’ hat, not to mention ‘chauffeur’, ‘chef’, ‘nurse’, ‘soft-shoulder’, ‘firm-hand’, ‘confidant’, and the list goes on and on and on.

I’ve written recently about the ‘daughter of aging parents’ hat. While I love my parents dearly, I don’t like this hat one little bit – mostly because they get to make the hat, choosing the style, the color, the fit, and when I have to wear it.  Like most people who are in their ninth decade of life, they don’t want to admit, in spite of the numerous prescriptions they take, that their health is starting to break down. They express that asking for help is the same as giving up independence and self-reliance. It’s actually a lot like parenting young adult children all over again – they think they can handle everything, don’t fill me in on anything, then blind-side me when problems get out of control. I’d love to find a way to change the style, the fit, and the color of this hat to make it more comfortable and practical. I doubt that’s going to happen, so I’ll just have to let the hat they’ve created for me be while I look for my ‘perfect daughter’ hat to wear with it.

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